People of Shomrei

Three Steps to an Effective Apology

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How did you learn to apologize? We all know the words “I’m sorry”, but were you ever taught how to effectively apologize to another person?

A typical marital argument can get heightened by inauthentic apologies, “I’m sorry you overreacted,” or “I’m sorry you think that,” or “I’m sorry your mother is insane” are not apologies. You can’t just slap an “I’m sorry” label on an insult or accusation and call it an apology. That will inflame the situation, leading to more arguing and distance.

Here’s the good news: it’s relatively simple to give an authentic apology. There are three key steps, and if you’re able to follow the recipe, you will be able to give an apology that not only feels good for the recipient; it will feel good to you.

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