People of Shomrei

Letting Go: Yoga Drash for Parashat Vayera

by Elisa Spungen Bildner

This drash was given at the beginning of the yoga session on Nov 19, 2016

6885273501_4f3e328826_zWe’re back to Vayera, and specifically, the Akedah or the binding of Isaac, the story of Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son. “Hineni, I’m ready“, Abraham asserts. “Take a breath [good yoga suggestion]”, says Rabbi Jonathan Kligler in a commentary: “This is a crazy story! It’s a myth, it’s not reality. A symbol of an idea. That idea is that Isaac, his son, is not Abraham’s to possess or control (or Sarah’s, for that matter), but a gift that flowed through them, that brought them joy, that taught them how to love life and also teaches them how to let it go”.

 Kligler is inspired by and conjures up the poetry of Kahlil Gibran, the turn of the 19th century Lebanese philosopher:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, they belong not to you.
 
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
Kligler is repackaging the idea that we don’t control our children, an idea first put forth by Lord Rabbi Jonathan Sacks who said in an essay called, “The Space Between Us,” that, speaking about our children, there has to be separation before there can be connection. “We have to have the space to be ourselves if we are to be good children to our parents, and we have to allow our children the space to be themselves if we are to be good parents.”

That desire to control our children, when we feel it, and our inability to do so, can eat us up, cause us extraordinary angst, worry, affect our well-being. And while this lesson from the Akedah wasn’t intended to speak to the current events in our country, I believe that its message has meaning on this score as well: I’ll speak about myself since not everyone has the same reaction. At 4 or 5 a.m. or so each day, I compulsively start reading AP News, move onto the Washington Post, the New York Times, the Boston Globe, obsessed with devouring every crumb about the election and its aftermath. Yes, it is affecting my psyche. I can’t control the outcome, no matter how much I read. To totally paraphrase Lord Sacks, I have to figure out how to leave space between me and the events of this and last week in order to, as he says, make a connection, or figure out how to play a constructive role in our society moving forward, in the same way I have to give space to my children to develop the relationship I want among us. Can I teach myself to be comfortable when I don’t have control, when I don’t have certainty?

This is what yoga helps us to do, physically, when we work on balance postures, helping us become more comfortable when we don’t have complete control over our body. As we go through the asanas or postures, let’s notice where our mind goes when we wobble, shake. Are we consumed by this imperfection or can we learn to live with it as we work toward better stability?

Ending thoughts at the end of the yoga session:

“The best we can do…in response to our incomprehensible and dangerous world, is to practice holding equilibrium internally – no matter what insanity is transpiring out there.”  (Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love)

“If I’m losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga.” (Terri Guillemets, 2002)

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” (Maya Angelou)

“In times of uncertainty – whether it’s economic, psychological, emotional, or philosophical – people often say that the only thing we can truly control is our attitudes. If that’s true, then I’m going to spend today walking my 14-year-old dog on a free beach and treasuring the fact that she’s still alive.” (Ali Liebegott)

Image: “freEdOm oF a cHild!” © Rolfe Kolbe used with permission via Creative Commons License.
  • Elisa Spungen Bildner

    Elisa Spungen Bildner is a long-time Shomrei Congregant. She leads the "Yoga for the Jewish Sprit" Shabbat Yoga Practice at the shul. Elisa has been practicing yoga for over 20 years. She received her first certification (RYT, 300 hours) from Claire Diab at the American Yoga Academy, West Orange, New Jersey in 2008 and a second certification in 2009 (RYT 200 hours) from the late Jyoti Crystal at Starseed in Montclair. In 2012, Elisa received a certification in "Yoga and Jewish Spirituality" from Rabbi Myriam Klotz and Diane Bloomfield through the Institute for Jewish Spirituality. Elisa teaches yoga at Cranwell Resort in Lenox, MA and has taught workshops on Yoga for Cyclists and Yoga for Weekend Warriors.

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